Establishing connections. Some people want to pretend to make a phone call and run out the door at the mention of the word. Whether you like it or not, it’s an essential skill if you want to advance in your business or career. The issue? Networking frequently seems clumsy, transactional, and, let’s face it, a little phony.
We’ve all been there: silently wondering when it’s appropriate to leave while listening to someone else’s tale of their most recent professional success or weekend hiking excursion. Nevertheless, you must become an expert at this dance if you wish to establish meaningful connections.
The twist is that networking doesn’t have to be agonizing. The key? Figuring out how to appear concerned without coming across as a complete opportunist or a robot.
This blog post will discuss how to effectively fake interest in order to transform innocuous exchanges into meaningful, reciprocal relationships. It has nothing to do with dishonesty. It involves developing the skill of strategic empathy, which is focusing on the goal while demonstrating just enough interest to maintain the conversation.
Networking 101: Although It’s Not About You, It Is
The harsh reality is that no one attends a networking event merely to learn about you. They are there to build relationships that will advance their business or career, just like you are. Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that networking is a two-way street if you want to succeed.
Let’s face it, though, it’s also a bit self-serving. Whether it is a business deal, a job lead, or advice, everyone hopes to gain something from it. And you know what? It’s alright! The secret is to make the other person feel important, even if you’re secretly considering your own objectives.
The most successful networkers are aware of this delicate balance. They are adept at providing value first, then requesting what they desire. The secret? Be curious, respectful, and eager to assist in every encounter. When you get this right, you’ll see that networking is about making people feel seen and appreciated, not about acting like someone you’re not.
And they will remember you if you do that.
How Not to Feel Gross While “Faking Interest”
Let’s face the obvious: how can you express interest in someone without coming across as fake? In actuality, it’s possible to fake interest without coming across as repulsive. Even when you’re mentally making your grocery list, it’s all about putting the other person’s experience first and giving them a sense of genuine listening.
Here are some tips for becoming an expert at acting as though you care (while secretly getting what you want).
Improve Your Questioning. Forget cliched, repetitive introductions like “What do you do?” Rather, pose enquiries that elicit sincere participation. Try:
• “What is your most exciting project at the moment?”
• “How did you begin working in your field?”
• “What do you have a strong interest in outside of work?”
Offer Sincere Praise. Flattery is effective, but only if it is genuine and targeted. A generic “Nice to meet you” is instantly recognizable. Rather, choose a distinctive quality about them to praise:
• “You did a great job explaining that; it was very simple to understand.”
• “Your position sounds exciting. Tell me how you got into it, please.”
• “Those shoes are incredible! Your sense of style is excellent.”
People feel seen when they receive compliments like these, and that’s what makes an impression.
Conversation Topics That Aren’t Bad
Ah, the scourge of networking: small talk. The dreaded dance of uncomfortable silences and cliched enquiries such as “So… what do you do?” (Inner eye roll, please.) However, you must abandon the cliched conversation starters and use ones that genuinely pique interest if you want to leave a lasting impression.
This list of conversation starters will help you avoid coming across as a networking automaton.
“Why did you come here today?” Easy to use but efficient. Without making the other person feel like they are being interviewed, this open-ended question invites them to discuss their objectives or passions.
“What’s the most exciting development at work at the moment?” This allows them to discuss their passions and turns the conversation into one that is upbeat and future-oriented. Bonus: it can direct the conversation toward possible areas of cooperation.
“What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?” Talking about their passions and hobbies makes people smile. Reaching out to their interests outside of work will increase the likelihood that you will establish a sincere connection.
“I’ve been interested in [topic/industry]. How do you feel about it?” If you’re at an industry-specific event, this one is fantastic. It demonstrates your interest in and desire to absorb their knowledge.
Learning to Follow Up (Where the Magic Really Happens)
The majority of people make the mistake of believing that networking stops when the conversation does. Not at all, spoiler alert. The follow-up is where the real magic happens. That brief handshake at a conference or coffee conversation? That is only the first act. Reaching out later and maintaining the connection is the encore.
Quickly Send a Personal Message. It’s all about timing. People forget things easily, so don’t wait a week to follow up. Instead, within 48 hours, send a brief but considerate message.
Here’s a quick formula to help you do a great follow-up:
• Begin by saying “thank you.” “It was wonderful to meet you at [event].”
• Bring up a specific topic from your discussion. “It was fascinating to learn about your [topic] project.”
• Propose a course of action. “I’d love to know more about how we can work together, so let’s stay in touch.”
Make a Connection on LinkedIn Without Being Creepy. Don’t use the standard connection request. Rather, add a brief note mentioning where you met or the topics you discussed to personalize your invitation.
Make Your Follow-Up More Valuable. Want to make a big impression? In your follow-up, provide something useful, such as an article, a contact, or even just a helpful tidbit of advice. It demonstrates that you have goals beyond yourself.
LinkedIn Etiquette for Networking in the Digital Age
Ah, LinkedIn, the networking playground on the internet. Everyone appears to be a “thought leader” there, and humblebrags are allowed to run wild. However, LinkedIn can be a treasure trove for establishing business connections if used properly.
Customize Your Requests for Connections. Make sure to include a note before pressing the “Connect” button. You can leave a lasting impression by sending a personalized message.
Distribute Content That Offers Value. Don’t just browse LinkedIn; interact with people in your network. Distribute articles, analysis, or even your own posts that will benefit your readers.
Steer Clear of the Hard Sell. Five seconds after connecting on LinkedIn, you should not make your product pitch. Prioritize developing relationships.
The Thin Line That Separates Being Genuine From “Faking It”
The big question is this: how can you network without coming across as a complete fake? It’s a difficult equilibrium. On one hand, you’re “faking interest” in order to make friends. However, no one wants to be perceived as being transactional or lacking sincerity.
The solution? Strategic sensitivity.
Consider it this way: when you smile and inquire about someone’s job, you are not lying. You’re making the decision to be present in that situation with sincere interest. Even if you’re not entirely excited to be there, it’s about bringing your best self to the table.
Playing the Part is Acceptable. Let’s face it, networking gatherings aren’t always the most comfortable settings. You’re there to build relationships, not to spill your guts. Therefore, it’s okay if you need to adopt a little persona. It’s the same as putting on your best front in a meeting or dressing up for an interview.
Look for Areas of Agreement. What’s the simplest way to add authenticity to a connection? Look for something that truly matters to you. They might bring up a book you’ve read. Perhaps their project is something you’re interested in. Or perhaps you’re just intrigued by their story.
Pay Attention Before You Speak. People enjoy talking about themselves, so here’s a networking tip. Spending more time listening and posing meaningful questions will help you come across as genuine without having to try.
Connect Like a Person, Not a Machine
Ultimately, networking is about people, not job openings, LinkedIn profiles, or titles. The secret is to view each encounter as an opportunity to develop a true human bond rather than a business deal.
Because people remember how you made them feel, not your job title.
