“Live in Southern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.” My take on how cities shape us.
That line has always stuck with me. It’s from Mary Schmich’s famous “Wear Sunscreen” essay, and it couldn’t describe my own journey more perfectly.
I’ve lived in all of those places – Southern California, New York City – and they left their marks on me. Each city shaped me in different ways: some good, some not so good. Add in Hamburg, my forever “Heimathafen,” and now London, my current chapter, and you’ve got the cocktail of experiences that defines who I am today.
San Diego: When Life Is Too Easy
I loved living in San Diego. It was paradise: sunny skies every single day, sailing on the bay, eating clean, working out, living a beautiful life surrounded by beautiful people. I was billing top consultant rates, had zero hardships, and on paper, it looked perfect.
But after a while, it started to feel like Groundhog Day. Every day was the same. Always sunny, always pleasant, always easy. Like chocolate ice cream every day. Nothing ever challenged me. I grew up with seasons, with change, and I realized I missed that rhythm. Too much comfort dulls you. It smooths out the edges until you stop feeling sharp.
San Diego taught me that beauty and ease aren’t enough for me. If every day looks the same, it’s not really living.
New York City: Where Hustle Meets Soul
Leaving San Diego, we dove headfirst into its polar opposite – New York City.
The energy hit me right away, I could almost taste it. There’s a constant buzz in the air. It was gritty and raw, every block pulsing with ambition. There’s a reason people say, “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” New Yorkers walk faster, talk louder, grow sharper – and I wasn’t just surviving there. I was thriving. It made me feel alive. It fed my soul.
San Diego was comfort. NYC was clarity. Suddenly, I wanted to do big f*cking things.
But New York’s edge cuts both ways. I’ll never forget the day in Whole Foods when Michelle, in a rare moment of calm, accidentally nudged the cart of the person ahead. He snapped back at her – hard. Tearful, she came home that day, reminded how harsh “soft touches” can feel here. Or the time we reached for the last salami in the display case – before we could react, someone snatched it right in front of us. Instant reality check. In NYC, you’ve got to be quick – whether in business or at the deli counter.
New York didn’t wear me down. It fed my hunger. It taught me how to move faster, think sharper, and live bigger. It wasn’t just a city I lived in. It became how I walked through life.
Hamburg: My Heimathafen
And then, of course, there’s Hamburg – my soul, my Heimathafen.
It feels like an old shoe to me – it just fits. Comfortable, familiar. I instantly know my way around, never need a map, and I pass by places that have been there since I was a kid. It’s continuity in a world that changes too fast.
Hamburg isn’t flashy like New York or London. It doesn’t shout for attention. It’s quiet wealth, understated, and conservative. To newcomers, it can feel cold, maybe even distant. But if you lean into the simplicity – like sitting down with a midday beer at the Alster on a sunny day – you get it. You start to feel the city’s rhythm, and you fall in love with it.
The North German mentality is in my DNA: productivity, efficiency, Fleiß. It’s not something I learned later in life – it’s who I am. My ambition may belong to New York, but my foundation – order, discipline, persistence – is Hamburg through and through.
London: Refinement Without the Rough Edges
And now, London. My current chapter.
If New York was raw energy and Hamburg is quiet strength, London is refinement. It’s a city of history, class, and polish. 2,000 years of it layered into every street, every building, every ceremony. It has everything New York has – culture, commerce, ambition – but without the rough edges. It’s cleaner, politer, more measured.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. The weather is famously shit, and London isn’t cheap either. But what I love is the balance: it’s global and cosmopolitan, yet with a sense of tradition and formality that’s uniquely British. You can feel the weight of history here, but also the dynamism of one of the most connected cities in the world.
It’s the perfect place for me right now. Having sold my business, I have the freedom to design my own life – and London makes that easy. From here, I can travel the world with ease, explore my passions for fitness, art, and culture, and enjoy the kind of life that once felt impossible when I was grinding 24/7 as a CEO.
London isn’t forever. But for this chapter, it’s exactly right.
What These Cities Taught Me
Each city shaped me in ways I couldn’t have predicted.
San Diego taught me that too much comfort dulls your edge.
New York showed me how alive you can feel when you lean into the grind.
Hamburg grounds me – it’s home, heritage, and discipline.
London gives me refinement, balance, and a stage for my current chapter.
I don’t believe in living life on autopilot. I’ve always designed mine with intent. And part of that design is choosing the environments that stretch you, challenge you, and sometimes even comfort you.
At heart, I’m a New Yorker. In my soul, I’m Hamburg. For now, I live London. And I carry a little bit of Southern California’s sunshine with me, too.
Because here’s the truth: the cities we live in don’t just shape our routines – they shape who we become.
